Why Is There Pee on the Floor?
Sometimes I forget that women do not have penises, not even a little bit. It’s true! Where boys have flesh hoses down there, ladies have I don’t even know what—is it like a butt but more complicated? So women don’t understand the everyday experience of having this dangly fella around and don’t understand stuff like “adjusting” or “shaking” or “please, honey, do not squeeze them so goddam hard, that is a sensitive region!” Just today, Kelly McClure, VICE’s Music Editor and someone who doesn’t even deal with penises when she isdoing sex and is thus totally unfamiliar with the doohickey and the male body in particular, asked a few questions about penises and then became very alarmed when I tried to answer them, so I thought I’d explain them more clearly, in writing, for the benefit of her and all women everywhere.
Where do they put their penis when they poo?Dummy, it doesn’t go anywhere! The ball/peen combo is far enough away from Pooptown that we don’t ever worry about that.I heard that when boys are pooping they will pee sitting down at the same time, if they have to do both.
Hell yes! This is great! Big-time relief and a huge time-saver as well! Do ladies not poop and pee at the same time?
(via visualamor)
